Late Bloomer

Only one week left in my least favorite month.
I wouldn’t have even come out tonight if it weren’t for Ethan Lane and his sister Tallulah, but here I am entering The Smirking Lizard and climbing onto a stool at the bar.
The Smirking Lizard is a fun little pub in Waterland Isle owned and operated by my friend’s sister, Tallulah. She’s fifteen years younger than Ethan and when he tragically passed away from prostate cancer last year—you guessed it, in May—Tullie took over running the place in the small harbor town next to Falls Village where I grew up and still live. But that’s not the only reason I hate this month. The disdain began thirty years ago.
“Hey Lily, whatcha having?” Jimmy asks from behind the bar.
“The usual. Watermelon variety tonight, please.”
“Coming right up, then my ear’s all yours. You’re looking like you could use one.”
I shrug and toy with the menu Jimmy slides my way before he turns to start on my cosmo.
Handing me my drink, Jimmy asks, “Getcha something to eat?”
“I guess I’ll have the grilled cheese with bacon and tomato. Add a side of fries, too, please.”
“Coming right up.”
Returning with my plate of food, Jimmy props his elbows on the bar. It’s still early, so the place is pretty empty, and he gives me his undivided attention. “Tallulah’s in the office doing some paperwork. It’s nice of you to come by for her.”
I smile, but it doesn’t meet my eyes.
“We all miss him,” Jimmy states.
“Yeah, it’s been a sucky year. May is tough,” I say, letting him think Ethan’s passing last May makes me hate the month.
Ethan Lane and I met not long after he purchased the bar from an old-timer and wanted to bring new life into the establishment and his small town.
Falls Village had just gone through a revitalization that I was part of with my flower shop, Lily’s of the Valley. He was a great guy and quickly became a recurring member in our small shop owner’s association, led by Spill the Tea’s Colleen Walker.
But Ethan isn’t the main reason for my May melancholy. That award would go to the first man I ever loved, the only man I ever allowed to break my heart.
It was the summer I had just graduated from The Maritime Academy and was ready for fun in the sun with my friends when Spenser and his frat brothers rolled into town looking for the same.
Just having graduated from college, they were having one last hurrah before they entered the real life of adulting and began their careers.
It hadn’t taken more than one day on the beach for me to fall head over heels in love.
Love at first sight.
Soul mates.
Kindred spirits.
Call it what you will. I loved Spenser Johnson with everything I had. For almost a year, I thought he loved me, too.
But then one day in May, almost a year after we met, it all fell apart.
Spenser had been seeing another girl behind my back, more than one, actually. But Melanie was the one who turned up with a clear baby bump one night while Spenser and I were out together.
It was the day I gave up on love at first sight, soul mates, kindred spirits, all of it. It was the day my heart continued to beat only out of necessity, not for any other reason—I may have still had a pulse, but Spenser kept my heart.