The Cream of the Pie

Who would have known there was a national day to celebrate banana cream pie?
Me.
I would. I do.
I only know because one of my best friends is a pastry chef in a bake-off competition today for a spot on some new reality show and guess what they’re baking?
Yup, banana cream pies and the other idiots I call my best friends are having a field day with it.
I got all my jokes out with Meadow leading up to today.
“How ripe do you think the banana has to be to make the cut for a creampie?” Austin chuckles as his wife Sabrina smirks behind her hand. “Do you think they have fluffers back there?”
“I’d think the banana would need to be not ripe at all, so it was hard, not mushy, when it becomes a creampie,” Hayden, Tom’s wife and Sabrina’s best friend quips.
We all look at Tyler to see if he’s going to add to the immature nonsense. “I’m just going to count how many times you fools say the word creampie.”
Allison, Tyler’s wife, grasps his arm and whispers, “Treat them like the girls, honey. Remember, don’t encourage the behavior we don’t want them to continue and reward them when they’re good boys.”
“I want a cream pie, Daddy,” four-year-old Molly Hallock says.
“Me, doo,” her two-year-old sister, Millie, whines. “Me, doo, me doo.”
“Jesus!” Tyler swears and runs a hand through the quickly thinning hair on the top of his head. “Okay, that’s enough.” It’s a warning to us, his adult “children.” Tyler was always the more mature of our bunch and we quickly fell into acting like his children while he kept us in line and out of trouble. It’s no wonder he became a district attorney instead of going into private practice with Austin, Tom, and me.
“Girls,” Allison speaks calmly to their children. “Meadow and the other bakers need to make the banana pies first, then we’ll all get to have some, okay? And let’s practice that. Can you say, ‘banana pies’?”
“I can, Mommy,” Molly proudly reports. “Banana pies. But I still want a creampie, too. Daddy, can you give me one of those?”
“I give up,” Tyler says as Clark Cummings, a wet behind the ears lawyer and major kiss ass, joins our group. What the fuck is he even doing here today? Did Meadow invite him?
I’m not sure why she would. I can’t imagine they’re friends outside of the group. If they are, she would have told me, no?
Tyler must have invited Clark, being the nice guy he is. As much as he doesn’t love Clark, he’s always on the rest of us to give the guy a chance.
“What are we talking about?” the criminal defense lawyer asks.
“Molly wants Tyler to give her a creampie,” I state, being the immature asshole I enjoy being outside of the courtroom. There, I’m just a regular asshole.
Clark lifts an eyebrow, but lets it go without a comment.
He’s got a reputation in Tyler’s office as being a douche, but he’s a stronger man than the rest of us in this situation.
A few minutes later, we’re asked to take our seats so the competition can begin.
Finding a spot for ten proves challenging, so we split up into two groups of five, me with Tyler and his family in the front row, the rest of the bunch a few rows back on the opposite side.